


Sonia's Perfect Boyfriend

by lknopeswyatt (certifiablemess)



Category: Parks and Recreation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/certifiablemess/pseuds/lknopeswyatt
Summary: Sonia has a perfect new boyfriend. Leslie is not convinced.





	Sonia's Perfect Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I'd just like to say that, even though the only tag that exists is 'Wesley Knope-Wyatt', it's actually spelt Westley with a 't' as what I imagine is a tribute to The Princess Bride (considering Ben and Leslie's apparent love for the film). Apart from that, enjoy!

     'Mom? Are you okay?'  
     'I'm sorry, I'm hearing really loud circus music in my head. What did you say?'  
     'I have a boyfriend.'  
     'See, I could've sworn you just said "I have a boyfriend".'  
     'Honey, that's great!' Ben chimes in, wrapping a calming arm around Leslie.  
     Sonia smiles at her parents through the screen. 'Thanks, Dad.'

Leslie and Ben's daughter applied for colleges all over the country; UCLA, Florida State, Georgetown, UPenn, even MIT just for funsies. But Sonia had always had her sights set on Indiana University, because where else would she want to go to college besides her mother's alma mater? Leslie tearfully hugged Sonia for hours when she told her that and wept until she had no more fluid left in her system when Sonia's acceptance letter arrived.

That same night, Leslie was adamant that she and Ben should move back to Indiana, but he was quick to remind her that they have work to do in D.C. and the kids have their own lives to begin.

     'Besides, we've still got one left in the nest since Westley is going to Georgetown,' he said as he climbed into bed next to her.  
     'Ben,' Leslie whined. 'Sonia is going to IU, Stephen is going to Northwestern - we'd be closer to two of them if we were in Indiana. Majority rules!'  
     'Babe, I love you, but we are not abandoning our careers or our son - who just so happens to be staying put.'

As Ben snuggled into the bed, Leslie stayed upright against the headboard with her jaw clenched. Ben was right but that didn't mean she had to agree with him; it meant that he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight if his wife didn't calm down. He sighed and sat up beside her, uncrossing Leslie's arms to hold her hands in his.

     'It's time for them to find their own way, Leslie, so stop grinding your teeth and just...relax. We've done everything we can for them.'

Of course he was right. Her compassionate, wonderful, smart, and sexy senate candidate husband was right as per usual.

Now, after months of video calls with Stephen and Sonia, and Westley's increasing independence despite still living at home, the Knope-Wyatts are making plans for a Pawnee Christmas and Sonia has a boyfriend.

     'If it's okay with you guys, I'd love to bring him over for Christmas and introduce you?' Sonia suggests bashfully.  
Leslie, still stunned by the news - a boyfriend! - is unable to do anything but gape at the screen.

     'Of course, Sonia, we'd love to meet him. Right, honey?' He nudges Leslie.  
     'Yeah, definitely!' She jerks her head, like a stiff nod, and clears her throat. 'Are you sure his parents will be okay with him spending the holidays away?'  
     Sonia giggles. 'Yeah, his parents are totally cool with it.'

Ben narrows his eyes, smiling at her giddiness. Leslie laughs too, a bit maniacally, but calms down enough to excuse herself, leaving Ben to wrap up the call. He knows he's not getting any sleep tonight.

     'What's going on in that mind of yours, m'dear?' He asks, sliding into bed next to Leslie who reads her ultimate book of relaxation (Joe Biden's book of poems).  
     'Nothing.' Leslie answers.

Ben waits.

     'Except that Ann and I will never be in-laws, and Sonia will end up with some Average Joe or a Sub-par Sam instead of spawning beautiful superbabies with Oliver Perkins-Traeger, child of the two most beautiful people to ever exist.'

There it is.

     He sighs. 'Did you really think that Oliver and Sonia would actually get together?'  
     'Yes! And, honestly, if they don't work out I'm really rooting for Leslie and Stephen to get together, as the universe intended. Westley and Leslie would be fine too, but I just figured since Stephen is the youngest the age difference would be minimalised by at least a few minutes.'  
     'Okay, it'd be a little weird to date someone with the same name as your mother, wouldn't you agree?'

Leslie shrugs, shaking her head. Ben pretends not to notice.

     'Also, you need to calm down. Sonia's a smart girl, I'm sure this guy will not disappoint.'  
     'How are you so calm about this? She's our only daughter, Ben.' Leslie says, slamming her book shut and placing it on the bedside table. 'What if she comes home with a pierced-up ink canvas, or someone like Orin, or - your worst fear - a cop-in-training?'

Ben shudders at the thought of April's friend, who apparently has his own radio show now where he predicts people's gruesome futures (much like he did to Ben once at April and Andy's wedding). Also cops-in-training. Cops are bad, but cops-in-training? Let's just say Ben let a lot of things slide around the house when Andy was training to join the force. Shaking away the thoughts, he wraps his arms around Leslie who frowns in anguish.

     'Then we'll deal with it because she is our daughter we need to trust her to make good decisions on her own,' he says, and presses a quick kiss to her temple.  
     'You're right,' Leslie sighs, snuggling into his embrace. 'Of course you're right. You're about to become Virginia's next Senator. The first to have a cute butt, might I add.'  
     Ben smiles. 'The first senator to have a cute butt? What would Joe say about that?'  
     'The first for Virginia. Don't get cocky, Wyatt.'

 

* * *

 

 

     'I'm so glad you made it back home for Christmas,' Leslie says to Ann for the seventeenth time that day, her eyes glassing over each time.

Ann smiles that signature Ann Perkins smile, almost making Leslie's tears spill over. Her elegant and regal reindeer, Ann Perkins, and her beautiful reindeer family-troupe ditched the frosty Michigan winter and made it back to the town where their stories began, just in time for Christmas. While the two mothers catch up in the kitchen, Westley and Leslie (Perkins-Traeger, not Knope) play Call of Duty in the living room and Leslie (Knope) is glad that they're forming the foundations of a relationship. Okay, so maybe Leslie (Knope) is forcing it a bit.

     'I've missed you too.' Ann reaches out to hold Leslie's hand. 'And I know for fact that Chris has missed Ben. When he heard that Ben won the senate race, he came up with this new breathing technique that stretches your entire body and your intestinal tracts. He called it "The Wyatt Waste-System Workout". I think he's showing it to Ben now.'  
     'Wow, that's amazing.' Leslie grins, feigning excitement. 'I'm kind of bummed that Oliver couldn't make it though. It's Christmas!'  
     'Well, you know how kids are, always have their own plans,' Ann replies, with a sly smile that Leslie doesn't notice.  
     'Yeah. I guess it'd be kind of weird for him, since Sonia's, quote, "perfect boyfriend" is joining us.' Leslie sighs, her eyes unfocused.  
     Ann tilts her head, frowning. 'You look sad. Why are you sad?'  
     'I don't know, I was really holding on to the idea that we'd be co-mothers-in-law one day.' Leslie admits with a small chuckle in a heavy sigh. 'We could have been related for real, Ann. Recognised by the law. That's as close to being married to each other as we'll ever get.'  
     'Leslie, that's ridiculous,' Ann says, shaking her head. 'You're my best friend, we're practically related as-is. We don't need the law to tell us that we're soul sisters.'  
     Leslie smiles, her eyes welling up again. 'Oh, Ann. My wonderful, enchanting mistletoe. What would I do without you?'

At that moment, the doorbell rings and Leslie jumps with a squeal.

     'That'll be Stephen and Sonia!' Leslie claps, dragging Ann to the front door with her. Her babies, her beautiful daughter and son, are finally here! Along with her daughter's perfect boyfriend, but more importantly her babies are back!

With a hand on the doorknob, Leslie takes a deep breath, her eyebrows almost reaching her hairline, and turns quickly to Ann.

     'Ready?' Leslie asks.  
     Ann nods, grinning from ear to ear. 'I don't think you are though.'  
     Leslie blows a raspberry. 'I haven't squeezed the life out of those two in months, I think I'm ready.'

She swings the door wide open and there she is, her glowing snowflake, in the flesh, in the drizzling snow. It reminds her of times way back when with Ben; the night they said 'I love you' for the first time, the Pawnee Commons gala, the night of their wedding. And now their beautiful daughter is right here, embodying every single good thing about their lives.

     'Sonia!' Leslie exclaims, grinning. She pulls Sonia into a hug, murmuring 'I missed you's and 'I love you's over and over into her beanie covered ear.  
     'Hey, Mom, I missed you too,' Sonia giggles, swaying from side to side in the hug-lock. She glances behind her mother and waves. 'Hey, Ann!'  
     'Hey, Sonia!' Ann waves back, smiling wide.  
     'Where's your brother?' Leslie asks when she finally releases Sonia, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Composing herself, Leslie takes a proper look at the boy who had his arms wrapped around her daughter's waist--

  
     'Oliver?! What are you doing here? I thought you had other plans!' She exclaims, yanking him into a tight squeeze too.  
     'Hi, Leslie!' Oliver replies, with equal enthusiasm, exactly like his father. 'Hey, Mom!'  
     Leslie whips her head around to Ann. 'I thought you said he had other plans?'

 

Ann raises her eyebrows at Leslie, a grin breaking out, and glances between Oliver and Sonia. Leslie glances at Oliver and Sonia, who smile at her bashfully and have cuddled up into each others with their arms are wrapped around each others waists, and looks back at Ann--

     'Oh my God!' Leslie shouts, whipping her head back to her daughter. She stammers uncontrollably, jaw dropping to the floor, much like the time Ron and Diane announced their elopement. 'This is-! Oliver! Sonia, he's- _perfect_ boyfriend! Yours! Your boyfriend perfect!'

Leslie loud guffaws turn into overzealous cackling, as she gesticulates wildly between the two kids. Ann holds her by the shoulders and rubs gently.

     'There we go, let it all out,' Ann coos.  
     Leslie spins around to face Ann, her eyes darting around the room. 'Ben. We need to get Ben!' She murmurs to Ann then yells over her shoulder, 'Benjamin Wyatt! Get in here, right now, immediately!'

Thankfully her husband isn't far away and pokes his head in from around the corner.

     'Everything alright, babe?' Ben asks, his face lighting up instantly at the sight of Sonia and Oliver. 'Hey, sweetie! Oliver, hey, how's it been?'

He hugs the two kids, planting a quick kiss on Sonia's head, and takes over for Ann's shoulder massaging duties. Leslie gapes at his calmness. Does he not understand what's going on?

     'Dating! Ben, they're dating! Dating, Ben. Ben, they're dating, like exclusively. They're together!' Leslie runs on, her voice filled with bewilderment.  
     'Oh, I know.' He says, chuckling.  
     'Yeah, because I just told you!'  
     'Actually, Mom...' Sonia starts, her eyes flit between the parents. 'He's known since the beginning.'

Hold the flipping Motorola, Leslie thinks. She feels Ben's massaging intensify, slowly turning to look at her husband.

     'You knew?' She asks quietly.

Ben swallows, not quite sure if she's happy or mad. Either way, he doesn't stop massaging.

     'Well, ye-'  
     'You knew?!' Leslie shouts, shaking off his hands that shoot up in surrender. 'You knew this whole time? And you didn't tell me?! Dammit, Ben!'  
     'Hey, Ann knew too!' Ben responds, nodding over at Ann who's giddy grin slowly turns into a nervous one as Leslie whips around again.  
     'Is this true?' Leslie whispers.

Ann goes to speak, but Leslie cuts her off with another dramatic groan.

     'This is it! The ultimate betrayal. I thought one day you two would cheat on me with each other, but this is so much worse.'

Ben furrows his brow and Ann scrunches her nose, shaking their heads at each other.

     'Ben, get her shoulders,' Ann orders. Ben immediately starts massaging again. 'First of all, we didn't tell you because they're kids, and we know you would've force them together even more than usual if you knew they were together. Don't even try to fight me on this, because I know you've been trying to set Leslie up with Westley all day.'  
     Leslie looks away, muttering. 'I have not.'  
     'Second, we wanted to surprise you. For Christmas. So...surprise!' Ann grins, throwing up her best jazz hands.

Silence falls between them as Leslie glares between her Judases. When did Christmas become the Ides of March?

     'I can't believe you two knew and didn't tell me! I will never forgive either of you. Ever.' Leslie says, her voice low, and dark, and cold, and menacing, and definitive.

Ann and Ben exchange glances, genuinely concerned now, until-- oh boy. Here it comes. Whatever steely demeanour Leslie tried on just now is gone, replaced by almost incomprehensible sobs.

     'But this is the best surprise ever and I'm sorry, you're all forgiven, come here you two!' She wails, pulling Sonia and Oliver into a group squeeze. 'I'm so glad you two finally came to your senses and got together, this is the best Christmas surprise ever!'

She can picture their wedding now; the theme is winter and Christmas, as an homage to this momentous occasion happening right now, and there will be a sprig of mistletoe dangling above Sonia and Oliver that the minister will gesture to when it's time to kiss the bride, and--

A loud thunk breaks Leslie from her, admittedly, elaborate premonition. She looks up and sees her frazzled baby boy with a cluster of luggage at his feet.

     'Stephen!' She exclaims, shoving her daughter and future-son-in-law out of the way.  
     He pats her gently on the back, murmuring a quick, 'Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. Hi, Ann.' He stabs a finger at Sonia and Oliver, announcing loudly, 'I am never road tripping with you two ever again. You could've saved the making out for when we actually got here but, you know, dry humping in the back of the car works too. Thanks for the help with the luggage, by the way.'  
     'Let me give you a hand with that, buddy,' Ben, pretending he heard nothing, goes to roll in two cases while Stephen hauls another suitcase and two duffel bags on his shoulders.

As they all make their way into the house, Ann ushers Oliver into the living room to say hi to his father and sister, Leslie overhears Ben asking, 'Remember when I said that being assertive is more useful than passive-aggression?' as he and Stephen haul the bags upstairs, and Sonia is left with her giddy mother in the entryway.

     Watching after her moving men, Leslie mentions, 'You know, your grandmother hit on your father once.'  
     'Oh, Mom, gross!' Sonia groans.  
     'It's true, she did!' Leslie insists, laughing at the memory. A hand on his leg? What was Marlene thinking? 'Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I would never do that to you. Oliver is all yours.'  
     Sonia nods. 'I'm glad, because he's over 30 years your junior.' She laughs, before adding much more seriously, 'You keep your hands off of him.'

Leslie tears up again, smiling. Like mother, like daughter.


End file.
